


volleyMEMES

by deducingontheroof



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Memes, More things to come, Multi, Polyamory, chatfic, non-binary Semi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deducingontheroof/pseuds/deducingontheroof
Summary: Don't leave Shiratorizawa alone in a group chat, especially when Tendou's involved





	1. We are number one, HEY!

**Author's Note:**

> Tendou loves memes
> 
> Shirabu is whipped
> 
> Goshiki is not the ace
> 
> Kawanishi is suffering
> 
> And Ushijima just wanted to talk about volleyball
> 
> Ushijima Wakatoshi- Ushijima  
> ☆ S A T O R I ☆- Tendou  
> ~SemiSemi~- Semi  
> benkei- Oohira  
> Hayato- Yamagata  
> Shitabu- Shirabu  
> fuck off- Kawanishi  
> Shiratorizawa's Ace!!!!!- Goshiki

_Ushijima Wakatoshi created the group Shiratorizawa Volleyball Club_

_Ushijima Wakatoshi added ~SemiSemi~, ☆ S A T O R I ☆, benkei, Hayato, fuck off, Shitabu, and Shiratorizawa’s Ace!!!! to the group_

fuck off: oh dear god no

_fuck off left the group_

_Ushijima Wakatoshi added fuck off to the group_

fuck off: why

Ushijima Wakatoshi: This is a group chat for our team’s regulars, to share important information pertaining to the team.

~SemiSemi~: wakatoshi. this is a terrible idea

Ushijima Wakatoshi: Why is that, Eita?

~SemiSemi~: u fuckin

~SemiSemi~: invited satori

☆ S A T O R I ☆: I HEARD MY NAME

☆ S A T O R I ☆: what is this

☆ S A T O R I ☆: ooh, team chat!! finally somewhere to share my photos of semisemi~~~

~SemiSemi~: FUCK OFF’

☆ S A T O R I ☆: I Just Came Out To Have A Good Time

☆ S A T O R I ☆: And I Honestly Feel So Attacked Right Now

_fuck off left the group_

_☆ S A T O R I ☆ added fuck off to the group_

☆ S A T O R I ☆: there is no escape, taichi~

fuck off: why

_fuck off’s name has been changed to why_

why: why

benkei: Oh Dear.

☆ S A T O R I ☆: reon!!! look at this

☆ S A T O R I ☆: http://natsdorf.com/post/149501001768/squak-squaksquaksquaksquaksquak

why: get out tendou

☆ S A T O R I ☆: U CNT MAKE ME

_☆ S A T O R I ☆ was kicked from the group_

why: au contraire

~SemiSemi~: taichi, behave

_SemiSemi~ added ☆ S A T O R I ☆ to the group_

☆ S A T O R I ☆: semisemi, iknew u love meeeee

_☆ S A T O R I ☆ was kicked from the group_

_Shitabu added ☆ S A T O R I ☆ to the group_

☆ S A T O R I ☆: kenji!1!!11 u Are here11!

Shitabu: of course i am who could avoid this trash

_☆ S A T O R I ☆ changed the group name to this trash_

☆ S A T O R I ☆: accurate

☆ S A T O R I ☆: im the trash man

☆ S A T O R I ☆: i come out

☆ S A T O R I ☆: i throw trash all over the ring

☆ S A T O R I ☆: and then i start eating garbage

_why changed the group name to Suffering™_

Shitabu: accurate

☆ S A T O R I ☆: mEan, kenji >:(

why: i love how we havent mentioned tsutomus username

Shitabu: hoooooooooly shit dont get me started

Shitabu: goshiki u fuckin suck ur not the ace kys

~SemiSemi~: kenjirou, don’t be a dick

Shitabu: but mom

☆ S A T O R I ☆: i love my lil ball o salt never change kenji

☆ S A T O R I ☆: cinnamon roll more like SINnamon roll amirite

benkei: your memes are old, satori.

☆ S A T O R I ☆: OHH YHEAH?@??//?/ >:((((

☆ S A T O R I ☆: SHWO ME SMTHING BETTER GOA HEAD ILL WAIT

benkei: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s27Y5HBTDI

☆ S A T O R I ☆: oh

☆ S A T O R I ☆: OH

☆ S A T O R I ☆: reon youev introduced me to a whole new Subclass of meme1111!

~SemiSemi~: why the fuck

~SemiSemi~: do you understand what youve done

_benkei’s name has been changed to ENABLER_

_Shiratorizawa’s Ace!!!!’s name has been changed to kys_

ENABLER: i can deal with this

~SemiSemi~: kenjirou

Shitabu: i couldnt resist

_kys’s name has been changed to smol swan_

_ENABLER’s name has been changed to Distinctly Not Benkei_

_~SemiSemi~’s name has been changed to The Authority™_

_Shitabu’s name has been changed to Whipped_

Whipped: holy shit pls stop

☆ S A T O R I ☆: whats the majic worddd~~~~~~

_☆ S A T O R I ☆ was kicked from the group_

The Authority™: hasta la vista, motherfucker

_Distinctly Not Benkei has added ☆ S A T O R I ☆ to the group_

☆ S A T O R I ☆: thank you, reon

☆ S A T O R I ☆: SOMEONE loves me

_☆ S A T O R I ☆’s name has been changed to literal garbage_

literal garbage: :(

Ushijima Wakatoshi: This is not what I intended.

Ushijima Wakatoshi: Satori, please stay on topic. This chat is strictly for volleyball-related issues.

Whipped: HA

literal garbage: lol tryna be professional wakatoshi

literal garbage: i know ur secret u meme farmer

why: tf r u even talkin about anymore

Ushijima Wakatoshi: I do not understand. What is a “meme”?

literal garbage: sit down boys and girls this is where it gets serious

why: oh would you look at the time good night 

Distinctly Not Benkei: it’s 8:00, kawanishi.

why: Good Night

literal garbage: look at these Spoilsports™

literal garbage: dw miracle boy im comin to ur dorm to teach u bout memes

Ushijima Wakatoshi: The door is open, as always. It will be nice to see you, Satori.

The Authority™: u say that now

smol swan: What is this???

smol swan: What’s going on???

Whipped: ugh bye

The Authority™: KENJIROU

The Authority™: read up, tsutomu

_Ushijima Wakatoshi’s name has been changed to Meme Farmer_

_Meme Farmer changed the group name to volleyMEMES_

Meme Farmer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViGaRd08zyo

The Authority™: oh god im gone

-

Hayato: Holy Fucking Fuck This Chat Is Cancer


	2. M A G I C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "the delightful mix of mountain dew, red bull, and 5 hour energy shots"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this sucks i cant find my writing groove again so have some memes
> 
> Meme Farmer- Ushijima  
> literal garbage- Tendou  
> The Authority™- Semi  
> Distinctly Not Benkei- Oohira  
> Hayato- Yamagata  
> Whipped- Shirabu  
> why- Kawanishi  
> smol swan- Goshiki

_[1:09am]_

literal garbage: ok but 

literal garbage: have you heard 

smol swan: Heard what, Tendou-senpai?

literal garbage: heard about updog

smol swan: What’s updog???

literal garbage: not much, whats up with you 

The Authority™: satori i stg stop bullying your kohai

literal garbage: but mom

 

_[4:58 am]_

Meme Farmer: Do not forget, practice will be starting at 6 this morning.

Meme Farmer: Would anyone like to join me for a run before we start?

literal garbage: count me in daddy

Hayato: It Is Too Goddamn Early For You To Be This Gross, Tendou.

literal garbage: y do u type like that hayato

Hayato: Like What?

literal garbage: Like This, You Noodle.

Hayato: It’s My Aesthetic.

literal garbage: u herd it here first folks

literal garbage: yamagata hayato, aesthetic blogger who probably has like 20000 followers tbh

Distinctly Not Benkei: well, im awake now. might as well join you two on the run

The Authority™: how are you even alive right now satori you were up til 3 harassing kenjirou

literal garbage: m a g i c*

literal garbage: *also known as the delightful mix of mountain dew, red bull, and 5 hour energy shots

literal garbage: i am READY

Whipped: dear god someone stop him

The Authority™: dont worry im already on my way

Hayato: I Will Join The Run, Wakatoshi. Should I Go To Your Dorm?

Meme Farmer: No, let’s meet at Satori’s, as it is closer to the indoor track.

Whipped: i guess ill be there

why: holy shit yall talk wayyy to much for thisearly

why: but since im uo now im coming

literal garbage: *too *up

why: fuck off

literal garbage: dont be so rude when im suffering >:(

literal garbage: eita took away my m a g i c

The Authority™: for good damn reason

Meme Farmer: Why are you still talking here if we’re all in the same room?

literal garbage: good point

literal garbage: lets say its so tsutomu doesnt feel left out when he wakes up

why: 10 bucks says hes late for practice

Distinctly Not Benkei: you’re on. tsutomu sleeps a lot, but not that much.

Whipped: holy shit guys lets go already we’re already losing wakatoshi

literal garbage: gdi hes right leggo

literal garbage: just one thing first

_Hayato’s name has been changed to Aesthetic NoodleTM_

_[6:31am]_

smol swan: Why didn’t anyone wake me???

why: HA reon u owe me 10 bucks ;)

Distinctly Not Benkei: Sigh.


	3. #SemiShiraTen Support Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, for some reason? :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but i can't be the only one who ships semishiraten right
> 
> Meme Farmer- Ushijima  
> literal garbage- Tendou  
> The Authority™- Semi  
> Distinctly Not Benkei- Oohira  
> Aesthetic Noodle™- Yamagata  
> Whipped- Shirabu  
> why- Kawanishi  
> smol swan- Goshiki

_[7:05pm]_

Whipped: im gonna kill eita. let it be known here first

literal garbage: no you cock a doodle don’t

literal garbage: stay away from my bae

_The Authority™ left the group_

_literal garbage added The Authority™ to the group_

The Authority™: let me go

literal garbage: whats going on w u two what did i miss

_The Authority™ left the group_

_literal garbage added The Authority™ to the group_

literal garbage: ok im on my way eita 

literal garbage: kenjirou when i find out what you did ur a dead man

why: well then

_[7:32pm]_

Meme Farmer: Shirabu showed up crying at my dorm.

Meme Farmer: Does anyone know what’s going on?

Distinctly Not Benkei: Not a clue :(

why: i mean i heard shirabu and semi arguing earlier but like

why: it sounded like a normal agrument

Aesthetic Noodle™: Argument*

why: not the damn time hayato

Meme Farmer: I am very worried. I have never seen Shirabu like this before.

why: ugh just like

why: give him ice cream?? that usually works

smol swan: Umm, I’m pretty sure I know part of what’s wrong? But I can’t say...  
smol swan: Ushijima-senpai, I’m coming to your dorm to help! I texted Shouyou and he gave me some tips!

why: who the hell

Aesthetic Noodle™: Hinata Shouyou, Karasuno’s Number Ten

why: oh the shorty

why: why do u text him tsutomu

why: and why can he help

smol swan: Oh, he’s my QPP! And his boyfriend has something in common with Shirabu-senpai! 

smol swan: I’m on my way now, Ushijima-senpai!

why: youve cleared nothnig up tsutomu

why: whats a qpp

Distinctly Not Benkei: queerplatonic partner. it’s a relationship more intimate than just friendship, but not romantic.

Distinctly Not Benkei: you know how Wakatoshi is aromantic, right?

why: yeah

Distinctly Not Benkei: him and satori are qpps. they’re cloeser than friends, but they aren’t romantically involved.

why: ok i think i follow

_Distinctly Not Benkei’s name has been changed to The More You Know™_

The More You Know™: why.

_[8:41pm]_

literal garbage: is anyone around?

Meme Farmer: I am here, Satori.

why: im still here

Aesthetic Noodle™: On And Off, I’m Doing Homework.

literal garbage: i just

literal garbage: im really sad

literal garbage: this is the first time weve had a major fight 

Meme Farmer: Every relationship has its ups and downs. You shouldn’t feel so bad about it.

literal garbage: i know i know i jsut

literal garbage: its so hard

literal garbage: im such a bad boyfriend

Meme Farmer: Don’t say that, Satori.

literal garbage: im justpaoa

literal garbage: enough of that, tori.

why: semi?

literal garbage: yeah. dont listen to a word this idiot says. were all just havin a bad night. well be fine

literal garbage: is kenji doing ok?

Meme Farmer: He’s watching a movie with Tsutomu. I think he may have fallen asleep.

literal garbage: course. he always falls asleep

literal garbage: do me a favour and keep him away from his phone til tomorrow?

Meme Farmer: I can do that.

Aesthetic Noodle™: How About You, Eita? Are You And Satori Okay?

literal garbage: we will be

literal garbage: we all just need to have a long talk 

literal garbage: satori needs to get some damn sleep

literal garbage: kenji needs to know when to speak up

literal garbage: i need to stop jumping to conclusions

literal garbage: sorry for making this chat so serious 

Meme Farmer: Do not apologize for that, Eita. We are all here for you.

why: yeah! 

_Aesthetic Noodle™ changed the group name to #SemiShiraTen Support Squad_

literal garbage: thank you

literal garbage: tori says thank you too ^_^

smol swan: I’m not letting Shirabu-senpai look at the chat, but he wants to apologize to you two.

smol swan: Do you want me to walk him over? He wants to see you, but I don’t want him to be alone.

literal garbage: yeah yeah thats great thanks tsutomu

literal garbage: ill make sure kenji remembers this next time he yells at you <3

why: gasp

why: the rare heart emote from semisemi??

why: i feel blessed

literal garbage: oh fuck off taichi

why: <3

_[6:19am]_

literal garbage: juuuuust so you all know, we’re fine now!!!! 

Meme Farmer: I’m glad to hear that. :)

_Meme Farmer’s name has been changed to glad dad_

literal garbage: also eita has a Very Important Announcement™

Whipped: satori we did not discuss this

Whipped: shit wrong phone

literal garbage: we did discuss this! you know the team will be supportive of you

literal garbage: eita i dont want to pressure you bbut you know its a good idea

The Authority™: sigh

The Authority™: so im non-binary 

The Authority™: they/them pronouns

smol swan: Is that why you were wearing a skirt on Snapchat last week?

The Authority™: SATORI

literal garbage: i plead .. the . fiftj

literal garbage: dont let him kill me i have so much tol iive for

literal garbage: so mmany memes to post

The Authority™: yes, tsutomu, thats why. satori was noT SUPPOSED TO POST THAT

smol swan: It was adorable though!

literal garbage: fuck yeah it was

_The Authority’s name has been changed to adORABLE_

glad dad: Thank you for telling us, Eita. 

smol swan: I’m happy for you, Semi-senpai!!! <3

smol swan: Shouyou and Kenma both say they’re happy, too!

why: w? ho?

smol swan: Shouyou is my QPP, and Kenma is his boyfriend! We’re doing a video call right now.

literal garbage: nIce tsutomu 

smol swan: Kenma even made this, like, excited face, like when he gets a new game! He always likes to know other gender variant people.

smol swan: Is it okay if I give him your contact, Semi-senpai?

adORABLE: yeah its fine

adORABLE: im really glad we had this talk !

smol swan: So am I! ^_^


	4. sex ed with tendou satori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trainwreck from start to finish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> glad dad- Ushijima  
> literal garbage- Tendou  
> adORABLE- Semi  
> The More You Know™- Oohira  
> Aesthetic Noodle™- Yamagata  
> Whipped- Shirabu  
> why- Kawanishi  
> smol swan- Goshiki

_[12:03pm]_

smol swan: How do I leave campus for a night?

literal garbage: OMg xD

adORABLE: uhh thats not really allowed tsutomu

smol swan: I know! That’s why I’m asking you guys, and not one of my teachers!

literal garbage: my son is growing up :’)

literal garbage: doing illegal things

literal garbage: im so proud

_smol swan’s name has been changed to Rugrats: All Grown Up_

The More You Know™: is everything okay, goshiki? why do you want to sneak out?

Rugrats: All Grown Up: Oh, Shouyou is having a party and he wants me there!

literal garbage: gASP

literal garbage: this is all happening too fast

literal garbage: sneaking out, going to parties,, 

Whipped: please go to the party goshiki

Whipped: i can sneak you out

Whipped: you could even just stay there

adORABLE: kenji behave 

adORABLE: no one is sneaking out

literal garbage: lol thats not what you said last night

The More You Know™: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

why: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

literal garbage: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Whipped: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

adORABLE: sigh

adORABLE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

literal garbage: your fathher should be here for this conversation

literal garbage: ill call wakkun

why: dont

glad dad: Tsutomu, don’t sneak out. Parties can be dangerous, and you will not be allowed to play if you are caught.

literal garbage: daddy tells it like it is

_glad dad’s name has been changed to less glad dad_

Rugrats: All Grown Up: What do you mean, parties are dangerous? It’s just for Shouyou’s team, and a couple of the other Miyagi teams! What could go wrong?

Whipped: exactly he should go 

literal garbage: so long as you use protection ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Whipped: grOSS

Rugrats: All Grown Up: I don’t understand, protection from what?

why: aaaand theres my cue to leave good night

literal garbage: you see, tsutomu, when two people love each other very much

adORABLE: no

adORABLE: satori do not mentally scar your kohai

literal garbage: but mom

Rugrats: All Grown Up: I still don’t understand.

adORABLE: good. 

literal garbage: dw tsutomu i gotchu covered ;)

adORABLE: satori i stg

_[5: 48pm]_

Rugrats: All Grown Up: I will never be the same.

adORABLE: SATORI

_Rugrats: All Grown Up’s name has been changed to physical education ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

literal garbage: someone had to

Whipped: holy shit 

Whipped: not you

Whipped: i’d trust anyone more than you 

literal garbage: thats not what you said last night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_literal garbage’s name has been changed to gross_

_Whipped’s name has been changed to Whipped ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

Whipped ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): NO

Whipped ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): WAKATOSHI pLS STOP hIM

less glad dad: Satori. There are children here.

gross: sorry daddy

_gross has been kicked from the group_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone should come talk to me about shiratorizawa headcanons / semishiraten / haikyuu in general im at skatinghell.tumblr.com ^^
> 
> EDIT: lol i changed my tumblr im at semishiraten.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> lol theres not really a plot yet
> 
> this isnt gonna be regularly updated like i could update in two days or two months
> 
> hope you enjoyed!


End file.
